Andy, Terry (The my shit don’t stink duo) and Dr John went for a 100 bird registered at Ashley near Tiverton, Devon today, whilst there met with Dave (GT) and Gary.
After a couple bad (easy) stands to start with one of our star players got a bit of a cob on when one of his well meaning buddies tried to give some helpful advice, and having a “fuck you all” moment stormed off, well that’s how I heard it anyway.
The adrenalin boost must have aided his shooting as he finished with not a bad score considering it was apparently a tough shoot.
After breaking one-off in me yesterday you would have thought the My shit don’t stink trio would have least given me the chance for a re-match today and invited me to Meadowcroft, Marksbury, Somerset.
You thought wrong, they didn’t, they covertly crept out of town about 8:30 with not so much as a courtesy text, even Dr John got an invite, it wouldn’t have hurt, it wouldn’t have even broke the “We don’t shoot in a group of more than five” rule, well fuck ’em, their dog and their wheelbarrow.
Enough of this bitterness I am sure it is all being toted up by the big man and on with the scores
Baz = 76/100 (must have been an easy shoot)
Andy = 71/100
Terry = 58/100
And this morning’s pan splatter Dr John with 53/100
Earlier this morning I received an official invite from the My shit don’t stink trio (Baz, Andy and Terry) to Woodspring Bay Shoot, Wick St Lawrence, Somerset for a friendly 100 birds.
I Mr B Hill am formally giving you an invite to ye old woodspring bay today at 11.30am approx. Ye would be nice If you would grace the shooting ground with your presence
How could I possibly refuse an invite like that?
Well it was three against one from the minute I arrived, it appears there is a little known rule from near the back pages of the shit shooters rule book that states “He/she who arrives last, shoots first”.
So I bravely entered the first stand and with a quiver in my voice gingerly asked to “see a pair”, a couple of quartering crossers. Hhmm, not too hard to start with I thought, how wrong could you be? Walked off with 7/10. I am sure things will get better, I always start slow.
Things didn’t get better, every stand I slipped further behind, I was in the presence of shooting greatness, one by one the My shit don’t stink trio entered the stands and one by one they fucked me up the ass with a hedgehog. They were like robots programmed to bust clays, smashing them with impunity.
Big Gay Al and myself once again headed north this morning and after a reasonable breakfast (for a motorway stop) at The Teletubbies Services we arrived at The Cotswolds Gun Club
Arriving a little early we were sitting drinking a coffee waiting for the 10am kick-off when a stranger approached and asked “Mind if I shoot with you guys as I am here on my own?” , “No” we said “Do we look like baby sitters or something?”
Anyway the new guy was called Gwyn and seemed to shoot reasonably well, by the halfway point it was all pretty even with Gwyn just out in front followed by Big Gay Al and me having my usual slow start trailing in last place.
At 3/4 distance Gwyn announced he was only shooting a round of 75 and left leaving Big Gay and me to finish the round. It ended up all on the last stand, I shot first needing a 10 to put the pressure on Al, but only managed 9, unfortunately Al got a 10 just edging me out.
Shit shooter rule 22, paragraph 4.2 states “If you start a round and do not finish it your score still counts” so today’s shit shooter was Gwyn
It appears the “My shit don’t stink” trio went for a 100 birds registered at Podimore today, once again snubbing all their ex mates by not sending out invites. There was a little upset in the scoring as Baz still reeling from his defeat at the Southwest Shooting School refused to shoot claiming he had a bad hangover.
Andy “The hat” came in first with 82/100
Terry Van Dam came in second with a respectable 70/100
Shit shooter rule 18, paragraph 3.1 states “If you go to a shoot and do not shoot then you are that shit shooter no matter what lame excuse you come up with” So in last place with 0/100 Baz
Then to the second round of the day at Kingweston it was just a swift 50 birds, hardly worth getting the gun out the slip for 50.
In first place making a miraculous recovery after seeing some easy birds was Baz with 40/50
In second place with 37/40 was Andy “The Hat”
And the shit shooter in last place, a spot he likes to call his own was Terry with a shit score, in fact a score so shit no one knows what it was
I wasn’t going to bother with the “On the day” scores but have just had Baz on the horn whining that everyone knows it’s only the “On the day” scores that count, I tried to tell him that traditionally it was only the second round scores that counted but he started to cry again and I hate to see a grown man cry so here are the “On the day scores” (Bet he wouldn’t have been so keen if he lost)
In first place cry baby Baz with 162/200
In second place Big Gay al with 157/200
Just in the medals was me with 155/200
In fourth place with 154/200 was Carl
In fifth place with 141/200 Phil
No prizes for knowing who came in covered in shit, Andy Meerkat with 110/200
Couldn't hit a barn door