Dummies were thrown at Ashley

Hi Guys

Andy, Terry (The my shit don’t stink duo) and Dr John went for a 100 bird registered at Ashley near Tiverton, Devon today, whilst there met with Dave (GT) and Gary.

After a couple bad (easy) stands to start with one of our star players got a bit of a cob on when one of his well meaning buddies tried to give some helpful advice, and having a “fuck you all” moment stormed off, well that’s how I heard it anyway.

The adrenalin boost must have aided his shooting as he finished with not a bad score considering it was apparently a tough shoot.

So the scores

Andy = 72/100

Gary = 70/100

GT = 64/100

Terry = 53/100

And today’s shit filled bed pan Dr John  on 50%

Dr John pointing the finger of doom
Dr John pointing the finger of doom

Happy shooting

Dereck

Sitting down on the job at Mendip

Hi Guys

What a great day for shooting it was, sun shining, blue skies, three buddies out on the ground, a little banter and a sit down round!

Huh? A sit down round? What the fuck?

Yep that’s right we had a sit down round of sporting, that’s how much fun we were having.

Carl forgot to wipe as he left the sit
Carl forgot to wipe as he left the sit
Phil sitting down on his bird
Phil sitting down on his bird
Dereck taking it easy
Dereck taking it easy

 

A rare shot of Phil breaking a clay
A rare shot of Phil breaking a clay

Happy shooting

Dereck

My real mates at Mendip

Hi Guys

After getting flipped off by the My shit don’t stink trio I went all alone on my own with no mates up to Mendip Shooting Ground where I met up with a couple real friends Carl and Phil.

It was a super friendly shoot with no score cards, just three guys out shooting having a good time and a little banter.

Carl in the zone
Carl in the zone
Phil as determined as ever
Phil as determined as ever
Carl where he belongs - Behind bars
Carl where he belongs – Behind bars
Did he hit it? Answers on a postcard to Shit Shooters
Did he hit it? Answers on a postcard to Shit Shooters

Happy shooting

Dereck

Too up their own asses to invite me

Hi Guys

After breaking one-off in me yesterday you would have thought the My shit don’t stink trio would have least given me the chance for a re-match today and invited me to Meadowcroft, Marksbury, Somerset.

You thought wrong, they didn’t, they covertly crept out of town about 8:30 with not so much as a courtesy text, even Dr John got an invite, it wouldn’t have hurt, it wouldn’t have even broke the “We don’t shoot in a group of more than five” rule, well fuck ’em, their dog and their wheelbarrow.

Enough of this bitterness I am sure it is all being toted up by the big man and on with the scores

Baz = 76/100 (must have been an easy shoot)

Andy = 71/100

Terry = 58/100

And this morning’s pan splatter Dr John with 53/100

Dr John pointing the finger of doom
Dr John pointing the finger of doom
Dr John and the salute of defeat
Dr John and the salute of defeat
Terry and Andy the twiddle brothers
Terry and Andy the twiddle brothers

Happy shooting

Dereck

The My shit don’t stink trio made my ass bleed

Hi Guys

Earlier this morning I received an official invite from the My shit don’t stink trio (Baz, Andy and Terry) to Woodspring Bay Shoot, Wick St Lawrence, Somerset for a friendly 100 birds.

I Mr B Hill am formally giving you an invite to ye old woodspring bay today at 11.30am approx. Ye would be nice If you would grace the shooting ground with your presence

How could I possibly refuse an invite like that?

Well it was three against one from the minute I arrived, it appears there is a little known rule from near the back pages of the shit shooters rule book that states “He/she who arrives last, shoots first”.

So I bravely entered the first stand and with a quiver in my voice gingerly asked to “see a pair”, a couple of quartering crossers.  Hhmm, not too hard to start with I thought, how wrong could you be? Walked off with 7/10. I am sure things will get better, I always start slow.

Things didn’t get better, every stand I slipped further behind, I was in the presence of shooting greatness, one by one the My shit don’t stink trio entered the stands and one by one they fucked me up the ass with a hedgehog. They were like robots programmed to bust clays, smashing them with impunity.

Yep I was today’s dangleberry

I might have come last but I sure looked cool doing it
I might have come last but I sure looked cool doing it

Who doesn’t love a bloiw job?

I heard he is real cheap as well
I heard he is real cheap as well

Happy shooting

Dereck

 

 

Do we look like babysitters?

Hi Guys

Big Gay Al and myself once again headed north this morning  and after a reasonable breakfast (for a motorway stop) at The Teletubbies Services we arrived at The Cotswolds Gun Club

Arriving a little early we were sitting drinking a coffee waiting for the 10am kick-off when a stranger approached and asked “Mind if I shoot with you guys as I am here on my own?” , “No” we said “Do we look like baby sitters or something?”

Anyway the new guy was called Gwyn and seemed to shoot reasonably well, by the halfway point it was all pretty even with Gwyn just out in front followed by Big Gay Al and me having my usual slow start trailing in last place.

At 3/4 distance Gwyn announced he was only shooting a round of 75 and left leaving Big Gay and me to finish the round. It ended up all on the last stand, I shot first needing a 10 to put the pressure on Al, but only managed 9, unfortunately Al got a 10 just edging me out.

Shit shooter rule 22, paragraph 4.2 states “If you start a round and do not finish it your score still counts” so today’s shit shooter was Gwyn

We thought we were shooting with the invisible man he blended in so well
We thought we were shooting with the invisible man he blended in so well
Gwyn taking a high bird
Gwyn taking a high bird

Happy shooting

Dereck

 

The three stooges at Longridge

Hi Guys

The three stooges sneaked off to Longridge today once again not inviting their ex mates, this is getting a habit, no wonder they only have ex mates.

After 100 birds the standings were…

Andy “The Hat” claiming first with 88/100, must have been an easy shoot

Andy Bryne

Terry Van Dam coming in second with 57/100

Terry indicating the number of clays he hit

Don’t know what happened but once again Baz has been credited with a shit score, a little dicky bird was heard to say “He just can’t get his shit together”

Baz with his "That was shit" face on
Baz with his “That was shit” face on

Happy shooting

Dereck

The My Shit Don’t Stink Trio at Podimore & Kingweston

Hi Guys

It appears the “My shit don’t stink” trio went for a 100 birds registered at Podimore today, once again snubbing all their ex mates by not sending out invites. There was a little upset in the scoring as Baz still reeling from his defeat at the Southwest Shooting School refused to shoot claiming he had a bad hangover.

The scores

Andy “The hat” came in first with 82/100

Andy with another silly hat on
Andy with another silly hat on

Terry Van Dam came in second with a respectable 70/100

Terry indicating the number of clays he hit

Shit shooter rule 18, paragraph 3.1 states “If you go to a shoot and do not shoot then you are that shit shooter no matter what lame excuse you come up with”  So in last place with 0/100 Baz

Baz with nice set of rabbit ears

 

Then to the second round of the day at Kingweston it was just a swift 50 birds, hardly worth getting the gun out the slip for 50.

In first place making a miraculous recovery after seeing some easy birds was Baz with 40/50

Devon 2014 Barry

In second place with 37/40 was Andy “The Hat”

Andy no more than five mates

And the shit shooter in last place, a spot he likes to call his own was Terry with a shit score, in fact a score so shit no one knows what it was

Terry

Happy shooting

Dereck

 

Shit shooters on tour in Devon, part 4

Hi Guys

I wasn’t going to bother with the “On the day” scores but have just had Baz on the horn whining that everyone knows it’s only the “On the day” scores that count, I tried to tell him that traditionally it was only the second round scores that counted but he started to cry again and I hate to see a grown man cry so here are the “On the day scores” (Bet he wouldn’t have been so keen if he lost)

In first place cry baby Baz with 162/200

Baz chillin

In second place Big Gay al with 157/200

Big Gay Al

Just in the medals was me with 155/200

Dereck Devon  October 2014 (2)

In fourth place with 154/200 was Carl

Carl at North Devon

In fifth place with 141/200 Phil

Phil

No prizes for knowing who came in covered in shit, Andy Meerkat with 110/200

013

Happy shooting

Dereck