Dereck contracts Shitshooteritus at Mendip

Hi Guys

So Big Gay Al swings by the shop yesterday asking “Where we shooting tomorrow?” Seems he is fighting fit again. After a short discussion and having not shot there in a while it was decided to go to Mendip Shooting Ground, stopping for one of the west country’s finest breakfasts at the Lillypool cafe

Little known to us there was a 100 bird competition on today in memory of Arthur Hill with a cup for high gun.

It all started pretty well with the first few stands me and Al neck and neck but as appears to be becoming the norm now mid round I came down with a massive attack of shitshooteritus allowing Big Gay Al to open up a mildly impressive lead, one that I never quite managed to reel in on the home stretch

Today’s victor back from the dead Big Gay Al

Big Gay Al puts his muscular right arm to good use
Big Gay Al puts his muscular right arm to good use

Today’s dried up piece of used arsewipe – Dereck

Dereck - Wish there was a vaccine for shitshooteritus
Dereck – Wish there was a vaccine for shitshooteritus

Happy shooting

Dereck

Interclub 2016 – North Newton

Hi Guys

Today was the first round of the 2016 Interclub shoots between North Newton, Cannington, Shipham and Westonzoyland, held at North Newton

With Big Gay Al out of action and Baz not wanting to shoot with a no hoper like me I had to find some new mates to shoot with, good thing for me there was a group of unsuspecting Shipham shooters hanging around the parking lot for me to latch onto like a blood sucking leech.

There where six stands laid on, eight birds on five stands and a ten bird walk along for a total of fifty birds. The clays were a good mixture of easy, teasing and what the fuck. The turn out was good with a little over a hundred shooters attending.

Mike appealing for a sub at check in
Mike appealing for a sub at check in
Entering the ground at stand 6
Entering the ground at stand 6
Will doctoring the scores for Shipham
Will doctoring the scores for Shipham
Trevor taking a high bird
Trevor taking a high bird
Bit of a crowd on the last stand
Bit of a crowd on the last stand
Trap maintenance
Trap maintenance
Grumpy Mike despondent at his performance
Grumpy Mike despondent at his performance
Dereck kicking Shipham ass
Dereck kicking Shipham ass
Mike, Baz and Trevor selfie
Mike, Baz and Trevor selfie
A shifty looking character
A shifty looking character

And finally the first round scores

The scores
The scores

Happy shooting

Dereck

Simo losers at Meadowcroft

Hi Guys

With Big Gay Al still recovering from his nasty masturbating injury, I once again had no mates, luckily Alf and Tony were going to Meadowcroft, Marksbury near bath for a swift hundred birds only, so I tagged along.

The first few stands started well for me and Alf hitting eighty/ninety percent while Tony was struggling to find any form, by two thirds distance me and Alf were neck and neck kicking some serious Chinese butt.

However on the home straight me and Alf hit into a spell of shit shooting while Tony all of a sudden turned into a shooting god and couldn’t miss.

All in all it was some good friends having a good time, a little banter and some good fun shooting

So how did it end?

Tony claimed victory for China on the last stand.

Tony had chairman Mao on his side
Tony had chairman Mao on his side

And the simo losers in joint second place me and Alf

Alf - Good how they can make the stock of this DT11 look like real wood
Alf – Good how they can make the stock of this DT11 look like real wood
Dereck - What do I have to do to win?
Dereck – What do I have to do to win?

Happy shooting

Dereck

Big Gay Al out of action

Hi Guys

A couple of weks  ago Big Gay Al suffered a nasty masturbating accident.

During a final bout of feverous climatic stroking he managed to pull some rib muscles, not only was it a massive disappointment being denied as he was about to blow his bag but it also put him out of shooting action.

Would you like to see some puppies little girl
Would you like to see some puppies little girl

All the shit shooters in the world wish Al a speedy recovery

Get well soon buddy

Dereck

Dereck shoots shittier than a shit thing that is shit

Hi guys

Another Sunday morning and once again the clay ground is calling, today it was the Cotswold Gun Club that was honoured with our presence.

We stopped for breakfast at the Toby Carvery as is usual for a trip to the Cotswolds and this time didn’t end up on the M4 heading to London, which was actually quite lucky as the M32 was closed.

I started off pretty good with a couple of eights, Al started of pretty mediocre with some sixes but then I turned to shit while Al upped his game on the home five stands it seemed Al couldn’t miss and I couldn’t break one if I stepped on it, I did manage a straight on the last stand but too little too late.

Nothing kicks ass like White Gold
Nothing kicks ass like White Gold

Today’s winner Big Gay Al

Dereck getting his ass kicked for the fish time in a row
Dereck getting his ass kicked for the fifth time in a row

Today’s steaming pile

Happy shooting

Dereck