We hadn’t been to Ashcombe near Exeter in a while so 8:30 this morning me and Big Gay Al struck out on the 45 minute drive to The Grill On The Hill at Kennford for breakfast before making our way to the shooting ground only another 5 minutes along the A380.
We were going to start the day with a round of skeet bunnies but one of the traps wasn’t working so good so gave up.
The round started well for me with a two clay lead on the first stand, two stands later we were even, then Al took the lead by a clay, stretched it out to four clays before I hit back with a couple great stands leaving to all to play for on the last two stands.
I then remembered Trudy (Big Gay Al’s wife) said she would show me a good time if I let Al win because he gets all grumpy if he loses, with this thought ringing in my mind I handed victory to Al.
Big Gay Al was desperate for a win after losing twice in a row so knowing I never seem to shoot very well at Ashcombe, Kennford, Devon suggested we go there today. As usual we stopped for a great breakfast at The Grill On The Hill, Halden.
The shit set in for Al right from the start and it never got any better, eventually finishing a whole stand behind. Always the smiling optimist “Never mind he said I will get you on the skeet bunnies”. Well that didn’t work out so well for him either losing by three clays.
Losing three weeks running now Big Gay Al is in the lead for the 2017 world shit shooting crown
I was under orders from his better half Trudy to leave him on the side of the motorway if he lost, but when I pulled over just south of Cullompton to ditch him he started to cry and promised to shoot better next time so I felt sorry for him and gave him one last chance
It is getting embarrassing shooting with Al he is so shit so I am looking for a new shooting buddy, anyone want to go shooting this Sunday call me.
A customer came to pick his car up at the shop last week and said “You do some shooting don’t you?” , “Hmmmmm, yeeeeeesssss” I tentatively replied not knowing if this guy was a sandal wearing, frog counting, tree hugging anti. “Well I am looking for somewhere to shoot” he said, “Getting pissed off with going to Brookbank” he said.
Anyhow taking a day off from stalking me and Big Gay Al were going to Aschcombe so I give the guy a call and like an excited 12 year old he said “yeah I will come”. As usual we stopped at The Grill On The Hill for breakfast
You know the rules at shit shooters that the new guy always shoots first, nervously Joss took to the stand, a quartering left on report a quartering right and he busted them like a pro and from then on he was shit.
Me and Big Gay Al did pur usual trick of exchanging the lead by a clay or two with it all to shoot for on the last stand whilst Joss trailed in last place.
Big Gay Al eventually took the honours but the star of the show was the new guy Joss with a score so shit it was shittier than a shit thing that was shit.
It was a good day having some shooting fun and we finished with a round of skeet bunnies, Joss seemed to enjoy the skeet bunnies but was shit at that as well.
Having not been claybusting since kicking Al’s ass big style and having no stalking, I called Al to see if he wanted another ass kicking, he did.
So I picked him up about 8:17am and off we went to Ashcombe Adventure Park, Kennford, Devon for a friendly round of sporting followed by a friendly round of skeet bunnies, stopping as is traditional for breakfast at The Grill on The Hill, Haldon Hill, Devon.
Big Gay Al’s shooting woes continued with what would have been a convincing ass thrashing but luckily for him I completely fucked the last stand only managing a quack saver and he made a small come back finishing six behind, he didn’t fare much better on the skeet bunnies missing six overall to my four.
This was loads of fun and to make things interesting the “High” house bunny was orange and considerably quicker than the black “low” house bunny
Then it was onto a round of sporting, we did seven stands out of a possible nine with it neck and neck all the way until the dreaded driven, the devil of all clays. It was my turn to set the pace and I completely fucked up, smashing the first pair I never hit another, whilst Big Gay on the other hand walked off with a ten straight
Gorgeous day for shooting here in the U.K , sun was out, 55 degrees and not a whisper of wind so me and Big Gay Al went to Ashcombe, Devon for a friendly 90 birds stopping at “The grill on the hill” for breakfast on the way.
It all started so well, Big Gay shot first, a left/right crosser down in a ditch followed by a high incommer dropping way out there and had a good start, then me also putting in a good score.
And so it went on, Big Gay in front by a clay, me in front by a clay, what a friendly shoot. Onward and upward to the last few stands, uh-oh a pair of driven one midi, one mini. I bat first, SHIT! 5/10 what a fuck up! Big Gay to the stand a perfect 10/10. Next a pair of quartering and I pull one back.
Finally the last stand a following pair crossing on the left, Al manages 5/10 which means I need 8 to win, not too difficult I think it looks reasonably simple. WHAT THE FUCK! I get a duck, Big Gay is quacking his balls off as are two guys waiting to shoot, oh the humiliation, the shame.
Couldn't hit a barn door