Tag Archives: Cotswold

Dereck shoots shittier than a shit thing that is shit

Hi guys

Another Sunday morning and once again the clay ground is calling, today it was the Cotswold Gun Club that was honoured with our presence.

We stopped for breakfast at the Toby Carvery as is usual for a trip to the Cotswolds and this time didn’t end up on the M4 heading to London, which was actually quite lucky as the M32 was closed.

I started off pretty good with a couple of eights, Al started of pretty mediocre with some sixes but then I turned to shit while Al upped his game on the home five stands it seemed Al couldn’t miss and I couldn’t break one if I stepped on it, I did manage a straight on the last stand but too little too late.

Nothing kicks ass like White Gold
Nothing kicks ass like White Gold

Today’s winner Big Gay Al

Dereck getting his ass kicked for the fish time in a row
Dereck getting his ass kicked for the fifth time in a row

Today’s steaming pile

Happy shooting

Dereck

Big Gay Al big fail

Hi Guys

Yet another Sunday, yet another fine day for claybusting and yet another trip to the Cotswold Gun Club for Big Gay Al and Myself, once again stopping for breakfast at The Toby Carvery, Bradley Stoke and this time we actually didn’t end up heading for London when I rejoined the M5

Things started great for the pair of us with a couple of 8’s and 9’s but then the rot set if for poor old Al, he went so far off the boil he froze solid, he couldn’t hit the proverbial barn door, I don’t even think he could have broken one lying on the ground.

Dereck a shining beacon of shooting greatness
Dereck a shining beacon of shooting greatness

Dereck fresh from defeat last week shows Al he let him win

Big Gay Al this week's shit filled nappy but still smiling
Big Gay Al this week’s shit filled nappy but still smiling

Big Gay Al going for the shit shooter world crown 2017

Happy shooting

Dereck

Big Gay Al couldn’t hit shit

Hi Guys

Saturday evening I get a text from Baz a fully paid up member of the my shit don’t stink trio asking if me and Big Gay Al were shooting, seems his buddies have snubbed him, yeah sure dude I replied we are going to The Cotswolds Gun Club, so that was it we were all set for some shooting. I also sent a text to Joss the new shitshooter from a couple of weeks ago.

Sunday morning All arrives and we get into character, then collect Baz and finally onto pick-up Joss. Knocked open his door and it was like the grave, dog started to bark and there was a little rummaging of the curtains then Joss appears like a cast off from a zombie flick. Uuuurrrggh, uurrrgh ugg, fflllluuuuug he said are you going shooting, yeah we said, oh fuck he said sorry guys, well we sent you a text, mass snubbage from the newbie.

As is traditional we stopped for a magnificent breakfast at the Toby Carvery on the way.

Me and Baz started the round with a great eight apiece while Al only managed a four, me and Baz continued with sevens, eight, nines and tens while Al followed behind with fours, fives and sixes, on the last stand me and Baz were even and Al only need nineteen out of ten to win.

Today's hero
Today’s hero

Baz squeaked a couple lucky clays to take today’s honours

Bottled the last stand
Bottled the last stand

The pressure got to me and I slipped into second place

Two stands behind and still smiling
Two stands behind and still smiling

Big Gay Al his shit stinks of shit

Happy shooting

Dereck

Shit navigation dot com

Hi Guys

As usual me and Big Gay Al got no invites anywhere and were even snubbed by Baz, so off to the Cotswolds we went stopping for breakfast at The Toby Carvery, Bradney Stoke on the way.

After a fine filling breakfast it was back onto the motorway north to The Cotswolds, unfortunately owing to a slight wrong lane incident we ended up on the M4 east to London necessitating in a quick detour down the M32 to do a u-turn to go back to join the M5 north, this was an omen of the day to come.

This apparently was Clair’s last day, no more will she finger our chocolate fudge cake

Claire busy in the clubhoiuse
Claire busy in the clubhouse

 

Anyway onto the shooting, I made my usual dismal start ending up 5 clays behind after only two stands, gradually though over the next nine stands I reeled Al in.

It was all on the stand with Al to the oche first he needed a nine. Oh for fuck’s sake it was a beginners stand with two easy incommers and Al got a straight, even Stevie Wonder could have straighted this stand.

You won't be smiling next week in Devon
You won’t be smiling next week in Devon
28 inches of shit, best place for it
28 inches of shit, best place for it

The navigation skills didn’t improve on the way home, we missed the M5 south turning, almost ended up going north to Brum and had to swerve off to Gloucester to do a u-turn back to the M5

Happy shooting

Dereck

No shit shooters this week

Hi Guys

Whilst half the crew went to Marksbury (still no scores sent in ) me and Big Gay Al went to The Cotswolds Gun Club for a friendly 100 birds on a Sunday. What a great day for shooting it was, a little overcast, slight breeze and 65 degrees.

The shooting was good as well, first Al in front by a couple clays, then I was in front by a couple clays, a real nail biter that came down to the last pair on the last stand, Al needed the pair to draw even, no pressure there then, and he got them, bit chippy and I swear it was the wad not a chunk of clay.

Smiles all round
Smiles all round
If only I could hit driven his ass would have been mine
If only I could hit driven his ass would have been mine

Happy shooting

Dereck

 

Dereck’s size 10 annihilates Al’s ass

Hi Guys

An over cast day here is the U.K, the threat of rain, 55 degrees but the wind is holding off so me and Big Gay Al went to the Cotswolds Gun Club for a friendly 100 birds.

It appears after floundering in the wilderness for the last few weeks I finally found some form beating Al by a whole stand Right from the start Big Gay Al was pushed further and further behind. I was shooting like a god and Big Gay was shooting like a cabbage, stand afer stand I was slowly ripping him a new asshole, then to compound the agony he shot a quacker, yep that’s right a big fat goose egg on an average looper with an easy rabbit, it was pitiful to watch he would have hit more throwing rocks at the clays

Today’s mouldering shit pile steaming in the morning sun, Big Gay Al

Big Gay Al wasting lead
Big Gay Al wasting lead

Happy shooting

Dereck

Doug “Digweed” the new guy doesn’t dissapoint

Hi Guys

Today Big Gay Al and myself took a little jaunt up the M5 to The Cotswolds Gun Club for another friendly 100 birds on a Sunday morning. After having a coffee and getting into character Clair (The clubhouse boss) asks us if we would mind taking Doug a new guy round, “sure” we said “but only if he is a shit shooter” turns out he didn’t dissapoint

Doug apparently is a new shooter and swore he had only shot a few times picking his new gun up yesterday. Well after a couple stands me and Big Gay thought we were being set up as we were all about equal on the the score card but then he started to show his real colours slipping down the order to finish in last place with Bi Gay Al beating me by one clay.

Whilst it may be a little unfair to call Doug a shit shooter after only a few rounds, as he did shoot exceptionally well for a new guy busting clays on occasion like a ten year verteran but the rules state, you come last, you were the shit shooter.

So a big cheer and a dollup of shit for Doug.

Happy shooting

Dereck