Tag Archives: Dereck

Rare Breeds Charity Shoot Huntworth 2016

Hi Guys

Today was the second annual Rare Breeds Survival Charity Shoot held at Huntworth just off of the M5 junction 24.

The Rare Breeds Survival Trust is a charity dedicated to preserving rare and native breeds of farm livestock.

The day started with me and Big Gay Al meeting Sausage at Junction 24 Market for breakfast before meeting the other shit shooters at the shoot.

Once again the shoot was held over an open field of stubble and a fine mixture of easy, challenging and what the fuck birds were put on by the organisers.

 

The check in
The check in
Dave sweating over a hot grill
Dave sweating over a hot grill
The layout
The layout
Discussing tactics
Discussing tactics

The Three Stooges discussing tactics

So what was the outcome?

Al smoking the clays
Al smoking the clays
Alf using the both eyes shut technique
Alf using the both eyes shut technique

Big Gay Al and Alf tie for first place on 40/50

Dereck earning points for artistic impression
Dereck earning points for artistic impression

Dereck came in a respectable 3rd with 36/50

Little John struggling to fill a tight pair of biggie smugglers
Little John struggling to fill a tight pair of buggie smugglers

One behind in fourth was John on 35/50

Tony "Chairman Moa's batman"
Tony “Chairman Mao’s batman”

A valiant effort by Tony with 34/50

Sausage rubbing one out
Sausage rubbing one out

And finally today’s bucket of bull semen was Sausage with a miserable 28/50

So till the next time happy shooting

Dereck

Big Gay Al starts shit and never recovers at Ashley

Hi Guys

What a great day to be alive, 7:30 on a crisp English summers morning, a little dew on the ground, blue skies, a wisp of a breeze and the golden sun just starting to warm things up a little, grabbing my trusty 28 inches it was off to pick Big Gay Al up and head off to Devon for a mornings shooting

A quick forty-five minutes later we were at The Pitstop Cafe, Marsh Barton for breakfast and what a fine breakfast it was too.

Pitstop Cafe 3

The Pitstop Cafe
The Pitstop Cafe

Just look at this breakfast

Now that's a full English
Now that’s a full English

After breakfast had settled a little it was time to take the thirty minute hike back to Ashley, Devon’s premier shooting ground for a friendly 140 birds.

Centre of operation
Centre of operation
Looking up towards the cark parks
Looking up towards the car parks
Did he break it?
Did he break it?
Wish I brought my fly rod
Wish I brought my fly rod
The last stand
The last stand
Looking back from the last stand
Looking back from the last stand

What about the shooting?

Al put me in first on a simo pair of tasty looking crossers, much to my surprise I hit them, hit them again, and again, and again, finishing up with a magnificent 9/10, apprehensively Al took to the stand and walked up with an embarrassing 4/10, it was all over.

Al never recovered from that 5 clay deficit, over the next 13 stands, he pulled a couple back, I pulled further out in front, he pulled a couple back, until the last few stands when he eventually found some form but it was too little too late.

Would you like to see some puppies?
Would you like to see some puppies?

 

Is it time to go home yet?
Is it time to go home yet?

Happy shooting

Dereck

Dereck smells of victory at Woodspring Bay or is it B.O.?

Hi Guys

Wood spring Bay Shooting Ground at Wick St Lawrence on the Somerset coast was open today so Big Gay Al and myself went along for a friendly 100 birds

The usual mixture of easy, testing and WTF clays were put on by Trevor and his crew, we even had a tip from Bionic Finger to leave stand one tip last, so heeding his warning we headed for stand two

As has become the norm we both got off to a pretty good start with a couple of eights, then he got an eight, I got a seven, he was one up, I was one up and so on. Going into the last couple of stands we were all even but today unknown to me it was Al that was on a promise from Jane and he totally fucked up on an easy incommmer followed by a zippy little quartering riser, handing victory to me.

Dereck - Has been cured of his shitshooteritus
Dereck – Has been cured of his shitshooteritus
Today it's Al that takes the walk of shame
Today it’s Al that takes the walk of shame

Happy shooting

Dereck

Brookbank or bust

Hi Guys

Being the first weekend of the school holidays and having got stuck on the motorway for 2 hours on Saturday it was decided to go somewhere fairly local that didn’t require a trip on the M5. After some thought we picked Brookbank, Draycott in Somerset. Big Gay Al had never shot there and it had been 10 years since I shot there.

After a coffee and a condescending safety talk from the owner it was off with our claymate in hand to shoot the sporting layout.

The layout started pretty good with a great variety of clays but soon descended into shit as after about the seventh stand or so the next five or six stands are on the end of their various trap layouts which made them impossible to shot when people were shooting trap disciplines. so it meant we had to go back and shoot some of the first few stands.

Brook bank shooting ground
Brook bank shooting ground
DTL and Skeet layouts
DTL and Skeet layouts
Ball trap layout
Ball trap layout
Al inserts the claymate
Al inserts the claymate
Big Gay Al has a derp moment
Big Gay Al has a derp moment

As usual the round started well enough with Big Gay taking the lead, me taking the lead and as usual going into the last couple stands we were pretty even, then once again I couldn’t help but think of the good time Trudy had promised if I let Al win and all went to shit and I totally fucked up an easy incomer and a floppy 10 yard teal.

Al loads another couple winning cartridges
Al loads another couple winning cartridges
Dereck the loser
Dereck the loser being put off his shooting by thoughts of Trudy

Happy shooting

Dereck

Dereck lets Al win again

Hi Guys

We hadn’t been to Ashcombe near Exeter in a while so 8:30 this morning me and Big Gay Al struck out on the 45 minute drive to The Grill On The Hill at Kennford for breakfast before making our way to the shooting ground only another 5 minutes along the A380.

We were going to start the day with a round of skeet bunnies but one of the traps wasn’t working so good so gave up.

The round started well for me with a two clay lead on the first stand, two stands later we were even, then Al took the lead by a clay, stretched it out to four clays before I hit back with a couple great stands leaving to all to play for on the last two stands.

I then remembered Trudy (Big Gay Al’s wife) said she would show me a good time if I let Al win because he gets all grumpy if he loses, with this thought ringing in my mind I handed victory to Al.

Big Gay Al concentrating on a trick teal
Big Gay Al concentrating on a trick teal
Dereck's hat of shame
Dereck’s hat of shame

Happy shooting

Dereck

Dereck shoots a light load……

……. and wins a bag of doughnuts!

Hi Guys

You may have noticed over the last few weeks I have been stuck balls deep in the biggest pile of shit shooting known to man but this week I had a massive incentive to kick ass.

At the weekly Saturday club meeting at the workshop Big Gay Al said if I managed to kick his ass he would buy the doughnuts, he obviously didn’t realize the rashness of his comment as anyone in the trade should know nothing gets between a mechanic and a doughnut.

Sunday morning filled with confidence I picked up Al and off we went to Ashley near Tiverton, Devon for a friendly 140 birds.

I had been given some Hull Superfast to try out which were only a 27gram load.

Al was up first and made a complete balls up of the stand, I was in hoping that 1 gram lead deficit wouldn’t affect my score and made not quite the balls up Al made but a balls up never the less.

The first stand must have been a one off as over the next few stands we both got 8s, 9s and 10s with the lead going back and forth, then out of the blue Al had a shit one leaving the door wide open, he did manage to pull a couple back but it was all over, the doughnuts were mine.

Dereck shot a light load to victory
Dereck shot a light load to victory
Big Gay Al with the pull of a trigger lost his doughnuts
Big Gay Al with the pull of a trigger lost his doughnuts

Happy shooting

Dereck

Dereck contracts Shitshooteritus at Mendip

Hi Guys

So Big Gay Al swings by the shop yesterday asking “Where we shooting tomorrow?” Seems he is fighting fit again. After a short discussion and having not shot there in a while it was decided to go to Mendip Shooting Ground, stopping for one of the west country’s finest breakfasts at the Lillypool cafe

Little known to us there was a 100 bird competition on today in memory of Arthur Hill with a cup for high gun.

It all started pretty well with the first few stands me and Al neck and neck but as appears to be becoming the norm now mid round I came down with a massive attack of shitshooteritus allowing Big Gay Al to open up a mildly impressive lead, one that I never quite managed to reel in on the home stretch

Today’s victor back from the dead Big Gay Al

Big Gay Al puts his muscular right arm to good use
Big Gay Al puts his muscular right arm to good use

Today’s dried up piece of used arsewipe – Dereck

Dereck - Wish there was a vaccine for shitshooteritus
Dereck – Wish there was a vaccine for shitshooteritus

Happy shooting

Dereck

Simo losers at Meadowcroft

Hi Guys

With Big Gay Al still recovering from his nasty masturbating injury, I once again had no mates, luckily Alf and Tony were going to Meadowcroft, Marksbury near bath for a swift hundred birds only, so I tagged along.

The first few stands started well for me and Alf hitting eighty/ninety percent while Tony was struggling to find any form, by two thirds distance me and Alf were neck and neck kicking some serious Chinese butt.

However on the home straight me and Alf hit into a spell of shit shooting while Tony all of a sudden turned into a shooting god and couldn’t miss.

All in all it was some good friends having a good time, a little banter and some good fun shooting

So how did it end?

Tony claimed victory for China on the last stand.

Tony had chairman Mao on his side
Tony had chairman Mao on his side

And the simo losers in joint second place me and Alf

Alf - Good how they can make the stock of this DT11 look like real wood
Alf – Good how they can make the stock of this DT11 look like real wood
Dereck - What do I have to do to win?
Dereck – What do I have to do to win?

Happy shooting

Dereck

Dereck shoots shittier than a shit thing that is shit

Hi guys

Another Sunday morning and once again the clay ground is calling, today it was the Cotswold Gun Club that was honoured with our presence.

We stopped for breakfast at the Toby Carvery as is usual for a trip to the Cotswolds and this time didn’t end up on the M4 heading to London, which was actually quite lucky as the M32 was closed.

I started off pretty good with a couple of eights, Al started of pretty mediocre with some sixes but then I turned to shit while Al upped his game on the home five stands it seemed Al couldn’t miss and I couldn’t break one if I stepped on it, I did manage a straight on the last stand but too little too late.

Nothing kicks ass like White Gold
Nothing kicks ass like White Gold

Today’s winner Big Gay Al

Dereck getting his ass kicked for the fish time in a row
Dereck getting his ass kicked for the fifth time in a row

Today’s steaming pile

Happy shooting

Dereck

Woodspring Bay Charity Shoot

Hi Guys

Today at Woodspring Bay  there was a charity shoot in memory of Sam, Dr John’s grandson, raising money for Cots For Tots and Above & Beyond. Naturally the shit shooters are always happy to contribute to a worthy cause especially when there is some shooting involved, so me and Big Gay Al  met up with Tony for some clay busting fun.

Dr John loading the finger of doom
Dr John loading the finger of doom or is he indicating the number of clays hit on the last stand

The main man Dr John sporting an exclusive pair of palm tree shooting glasses, the yellow lenses giving a superior optical enhancement under low light conditions.

Prize table
Prize table

Plenty of raffle prizes donated by shooters, never did find out how many cartridges in that jar, reckon there weren’t 158

Chillin' between rounds
Chillin’ between rounds

Time for a little BS between rounds

A pair of twiddlers
A pair of twiddlers

The twiddle brothers on stand one twiddling

Group Of ShootersWoodspring Bay Charity Shoot May 2016

I Can Smell The Bullshit Woodspring Bay Charity Shoot May 2016

 

Out On The Range Woodspring Bay Charity Shoot May 2016

Out on the ground

Alf looking dangerous
Alf looking dangerous

Alf

Bionic finger dusting clays
Bionic finger dusting clays

Terry making light work of stand one, must have been all that twiddling

If a smile could break a fly Al would get a straight every time
If a smile could break a clay Al would get a straight every time

Big Gay Al looking rather pleased with himself

Tony starring the clay down
Tony – These clays better break or the equal rights commission will hear of it

Tony breaking clays with an intense stare

And I guess that just leaves today’s backed up sewer

Dereck hitting the sky with another shot
Dereck hitting the sky with another shot

Yep it’s me again, seem to have hit into a spell of shit shooting

Happy shooting

Dereck