Tag Archives: Lillypool

Dereck contracts Shitshooteritus at Mendip

Hi Guys

So Big Gay Al swings by the shop yesterday asking “Where we shooting tomorrow?” Seems he is fighting fit again. After a short discussion and having not shot there in a while it was decided to go to Mendip Shooting Ground, stopping for one of the west country’s finest breakfasts at the Lillypool cafe

Little known to us there was a 100 bird competition on today in memory of Arthur Hill with a cup for high gun.

It all started pretty well with the first few stands me and Al neck and neck but as appears to be becoming the norm now mid round I came down with a massive attack of shitshooteritus allowing Big Gay Al to open up a mildly impressive lead, one that I never quite managed to reel in on the home stretch

Today’s victor back from the dead Big Gay Al

Big Gay Al puts his muscular right arm to good use
Big Gay Al puts his muscular right arm to good use

Today’s dried up piece of used arsewipe – Dereck

Dereck - Wish there was a vaccine for shitshooteritus
Dereck – Wish there was a vaccine for shitshooteritus

Happy shooting

Dereck

Al back on form at Shipham

Hi Guys

Apologies for the lateness of this post but a couple of weeks ago I had a catastrophic computer failure so am slowly grinding back in action on a new iMac, after using a Windows computer since time began it’s taking a little getting used to.

Anyway on with the show.

We decided to slum it today with a trip to Shipham up on the Mendip hills in Somerset, stopping as usual for a fine breakfast at the Lillypool cafe.

Al was shooting like a demon with a straight on the first three stands, me on the other hand was nursing a bad back and not doing so well. Al almost took high gun on the day but was pipped by one clay by Trevor.

Trevor blasting a road to victory
Trevor blasting a road to victory
Big Gay Al smiling his way to second place
Big Gay Al smiling his way to second place
Will showing Big Gay Al what a real smile looks like
Will showing Big Gay Al what a real smile looks like

And that just leaves today’s bucket of shit

Dereck looking professional even though he can't shoot for shit
Dereck looking professional even though he can’t shoot for shit

Happy shooting

Dereck

Shit shooter virgin at Mendip

Hi Guys

Big Gay Al swung by earlier this morning and we headed of for a friendly round of sporting at Mendip Shooting Ground stopping as usual for breakfast at The Lillypool Cafe on the way

Mendip seemed strangely deserted guess people are fed up with the same old, same old and having to use their own cartridges. Anyway Mike asked if he could join us and naturally we said “No, fuck off”, LOL!

The weather was a little chilly, a hint of drizzle in the air with a fair breeze blowing but down on the sporting layout being a little sheltered it wasn’t too bad.

Stand one Mike kicked off with a seven, next Big Gay with a four and finally me with an eight, the next stand Big Gay Al stepped up with a quacking while me and Mike had an eight a piece. The next few stands were pretty average but Big Gay Al having had a shit start was slowly reeling in me and Mike, by the end of the round it was all on the last stand, a pair of driven.

So who was the shit shooter then?

Big Gay AL, i am sure there is a hint of a sly smile
Big Gay AL, I  am sure there is a hint of a sly smile

After a mega shit start Al came in first by one clay

Dereck was average
Dereck was average

I just managed to hang onto second place by one clay

Mike
Mike a virgin to shit shooters- broken and bloodied

That leaves Mike to claim this weeks crown of shit

Happy shooting

Dereck

I hit those rabbits, honest guv!

Hi Guys

It appears Andy and Terry are once again a duo today, I guess Baz is still recovering from several  weeks of jerking off with his carney buddies.

Anyway the duo arrived at Meadowcroft, Marksbury, Somerset for a 100 birds registered a little later than usual after stopping for breakfast at the Lillypool cafe Shipham. On the way in they met Gary West Trucks who was just leaving after shooting a round of 58, he said it was all a bit gloopy and some cars were sliding down the slope into parked cars down in the lower car park which meant the duo had a bit of a stroll down from the upper car park.

Andy started the round with a straight and was all set for a monster score, a few stands later Terry was at the oche a pair of low crossers, a couple of pairs in and the trapper didn’t see a hit and asked our man if he had hit them, honest Terry said “No” and with his place in heaven assured carried on with a clear conscience.

Nothing much happened until the last stand a fast rabbit followed by a looper, apparently Andy missed two rabbits by a country mile but the trapper announced he had straighted the stand, “Well” said Andy “If she gave to me I will take them”. I don’t know how he can sleep easy at night

Which from the scores (See note below) I have makes this weeks winner …….

Dr John sporting a priceless pair of Pink Flamingoes
Dr John sporting a priceless pair of Pink Flamingoes

Yeah that’s right Dr John, those expensive shooting glasses must really be paying dividends

Terry blasting his way to second place
Terry blasting his way to second place

Terry “Bionic finger” came in one clay behind the doctor

Note:

Andy "I did hit those rabbits, honest guv"
Andy “I did hit those rabbits, honest guv”

After an extraordinary meeting of the commitee it has been decided to a null Andy’s score for being a cheating A-rab which makes him this weeks pus oozing boil on a gorilla’s arse.

Happy shooting

Dereck

The Uninvited at Shipham

Hi Guys

Following on from a great day’s shooting in Devon “The Uninvited” (Dereck & Big Gay Al) ventured to The Shipham Shoot for a quiet 100 birds stopping off at The Lillypool Cafe for breakfast, without Baz to embarrass us with a Faggot Breakfast it was Full English all round.

Big Gay couldn’t really get his shit together this morning trailing right from the first stand, the poor old chap must be feeling his age having overdone it in Devon yesterday.

Big Gay Al and Dereck
Big Gay Al and Dereck

Dereck = 79/100

Big Gay Al = 72/100

Happy shooting

Dereck

 

Interclub Shoot Round 2 – Shipham

Hi Guys

Earlier on this morning was the second round of the interclub shoots between Westonzoyland, Cannington, Shipham and North Newton shooting grounds held at Shipham, me and Big Gay Al were the sole representatives from the Shit Shooters crew and after a great breakfast at the Lillypool Cafe we headed off for 50 birds of interclub rivalry.

I forgot the camera this morning so only have a few stock pictures from a while back during the winter, I was also missing my trusty Beretta which is still with the smith having the electors replaced and shot real shit.

Big Gay Al taking a high bird
Big Gay Al taking a high bird
I might have come last but I sure looked cool doing it
I might have come last but I sure looked cool doing it
The Clubhouse
The Clubhouse
A cview of the ground
A view of the ground
The last stand
The last stand
The scores
The scores

Happy shooting

Dereck

Dereck loses by a metric mile

Hi GUys

Big Gay Al and myself went to Shipham this morning for a friendly 100 birds stopping for a fine breakfast at the Lillypool Cafe on the way. Seems I am still  mourning the ejector failure on my trusty old Beretta 682 because using a Browning Gold Hunter just isn’t doing the business, I might aswell not turned up this morning as Al gave me a severe beating.

Today’s ruptured haemorrhoid is Dereck

Dereck making his getaway before anyone noticed
Dereck making his getaway before anyone noticed

Happy shooting

Dereck

I let Big Gay Al win at Mendip

Hi Guys

Not sure where all our mates went this weekend as I haven’t heard from any of them yet but me and Big Gay went to Mendip Shooting Ground for a friendly 96 birds stopping at The Lillypool Cafe, Shipham on the way for breakfast.

A great morning’s shooting was had by all, first Big Gay was a couple clays in front, then I was a couple clays in front and it all came down to the last stand, an easy left/right crosser, on report an easy right/left crosser and I completely fucked it up, my pucker went handing victory to Big Gay Al.

Today’s shit smear on the pavement of defeat

I might have come last but I sure looked cool doing it
I might have come last but I sure looked cool doing it

Happy shooting

Dereck