Tag Archives: my shit don’t stink

I hit those rabbits, honest guv!

Hi Guys

It appears Andy and Terry are once again a duo today, I guess Baz is still recovering from several  weeks of jerking off with his carney buddies.

Anyway the duo arrived at Meadowcroft, Marksbury, Somerset for a 100 birds registered a little later than usual after stopping for breakfast at the Lillypool cafe Shipham. On the way in they met Gary West Trucks who was just leaving after shooting a round of 58, he said it was all a bit gloopy and some cars were sliding down the slope into parked cars down in the lower car park which meant the duo had a bit of a stroll down from the upper car park.

Andy started the round with a straight and was all set for a monster score, a few stands later Terry was at the oche a pair of low crossers, a couple of pairs in and the trapper didn’t see a hit and asked our man if he had hit them, honest Terry said “No” and with his place in heaven assured carried on with a clear conscience.

Nothing much happened until the last stand a fast rabbit followed by a looper, apparently Andy missed two rabbits by a country mile but the trapper announced he had straighted the stand, “Well” said Andy “If she gave to me I will take them”. I don’t know how he can sleep easy at night

Which from the scores (See note below) I have makes this weeks winner …….

Dr John sporting a priceless pair of Pink Flamingoes
Dr John sporting a priceless pair of Pink Flamingoes

Yeah that’s right Dr John, those expensive shooting glasses must really be paying dividends

Terry blasting his way to second place
Terry blasting his way to second place

Terry “Bionic finger” came in one clay behind the doctor

Note:

Andy "I did hit those rabbits, honest guv"
Andy “I did hit those rabbits, honest guv”

After an extraordinary meeting of the commitee it has been decided to a null Andy’s score for being a cheating A-rab which makes him this weeks pus oozing boil on a gorilla’s arse.

Happy shooting

Dereck

News update

Hi Guys

There has not much activity on shit shooters for a few weeks now, I did get some scores come in from Terry of the my shit don’t stink trio but owing to my computer breaking down (I think it got a bad case of Gaymidgetpornitus) haven’t been able to post anything, hopefully later this week I can get back on the case, in the meantime though here is a quick news update.

Star player
Star player

It’s carney season so our star player Baz has been jerking off in the carney shed with his carney buddies.

Big Gay Al - Does this guy ever stop smiling?
Big Gay Al – Does this guy ever stop smiling?

Big Gay Al took such a pummeling on his last shoot at Springway Park he hasn’t been able to pick up a gun since, making all sorts of excuses about fences to put up, working and farm stuff to do.

Reaching for a high one
Reaching for a high one

With the deer season started Dereck has been off in the woods with Chris his stalking buddy

Mr Bionic finger
Mr Bionic finger

Terry took some time out to have a bionic finger fitted, he can now miss an easy pair in half the time

Andy in the zone
Andy in the zone

Haven’t heard from Andy, I guess with no mates to play with he has been playing with himself

Dr John sporting a priceless pair of Pink Flamingoes
Dr John sporting a priceless pair of Pink Flamingoes

Not sure what Dr John’s been up to, looking so cool I expect he has been having a hard time fending off the chicks.

The look of determination
The look of determination
Popular Jim
Popular Jim
Tony our ethnic minority representative
Tony our ethnic minority representative
Dave wasting lead
Dave wasting lead

New comers to shit shooters John, Jim, Tony and farmer Dave went to Mork a few miles north of Chepstow just over the bridge last week where once again Dave proved farmers can’t shoot.

Happy shooting

Dereck

Gary West Trucks made up the trio

Hi Guys

With Baz in the carney shed jerking off with his carney buddies the my shit don’t stink trio were back down to a duo today for a 100 birds registered at Podimore. As it happens Andy and Terry met Gary West Trucks and were once again a trio.

After a poor start on a hard layout the scores that came in were ……

Andy looking like Terry's bionic finger just went straight up his ass
Andy looking like Terry’s bionic finger just went straight up his ass

Andy was today’s winner on 71/100

Terry pointing the finger of doom
Terry pointing the finger of doom

In second place with a respectable showing was Terry on 60/100

Gary West Trucks
Gary West Trucks might as well stayed home

In last place with 56/100 today’s used bog roll Gary West Trucks

Happy shooting

Dereck

Sole survivor of the my shit don’t stink trio

Hi Guys

Our star play Baz is on yet another vacation to sunny Lanzarote, I reckon that is about the fourth time this year, I must be in the wrong job. So that just left Andy and Terry to keep the my shit don’t stink flag flying, however missing his buddy  Andy made some lame excuse about being too busy to shoot and stayed at home jerking off

With Baz on vacation and Andy jerking off it was time for Terry to shine, he and Dr John went for a 100 birds at Longridge

Terry blasting his way to victory
Terry blasting his way to victory

Terry won the day with a magnificent 68/100

Dr John sporting a priceless pair of Pink Flamingoes
Dr John sporting a  pair of Pink Flamingo executive shooting glasses

Unfortunately even the enhanced chroma shift technology of Dr John’s Pink Flamigoes couldn’t save him from a humiliating defeat with 63/100

Regards

Dereck

The “My shit don’t stink trio” at Meadowcroft

Hi Guys

It appears after their little tiff the my shit don’t stink trio have kissed, made up and are once more a trio, going to a registered at Meadowcroft today.

In order of performance

Baz out in front as usual
Baz out in front as usual

Our star player leads the way as usual

Andy coming second, not what his wife says!
Andy coming second

Andy always the bridesmaid

Terry pointing the finger of doom
Terry pointing the finger of doom

Today’s Cleveland steamer Terry

Happy shooting

Dereck

The “My shit don’t stink duo” at Barbury

Hi Guys

It seems the “My shit don’t stink trio” is now a duo with Andy and Terry abandoning there buddy Baz and fucking off on thier own to some charity fun day pig roast competition shit, or something like that.

I seem to have lost the scores but with no real competition Andy won with Terry bring up the rear in last place.

Andy looking serious
Andy looking serious
Terry looking cool
Terry looking cool

Happy Shooting

Dereck

The My shit don’t stink trio made my ass bleed

Hi Guys

Earlier this morning I received an official invite from the My shit don’t stink trio (Baz, Andy and Terry) to Woodspring Bay Shoot, Wick St Lawrence, Somerset for a friendly 100 birds.

I Mr B Hill am formally giving you an invite to ye old woodspring bay today at 11.30am approx. Ye would be nice If you would grace the shooting ground with your presence

How could I possibly refuse an invite like that?

Well it was three against one from the minute I arrived, it appears there is a little known rule from near the back pages of the shit shooters rule book that states “He/she who arrives last, shoots first”.

So I bravely entered the first stand and with a quiver in my voice gingerly asked to “see a pair”, a couple of quartering crossers.  Hhmm, not too hard to start with I thought, how wrong could you be? Walked off with 7/10. I am sure things will get better, I always start slow.

Things didn’t get better, every stand I slipped further behind, I was in the presence of shooting greatness, one by one the My shit don’t stink trio entered the stands and one by one they fucked me up the ass with a hedgehog. They were like robots programmed to bust clays, smashing them with impunity.

Yep I was today’s dangleberry

I might have come last but I sure looked cool doing it
I might have come last but I sure looked cool doing it

Who doesn’t love a bloiw job?

I heard he is real cheap as well
I heard he is real cheap as well

Happy shooting

Dereck

 

 

The Cotwolds fight back

Hi Guys

With the “My shit don’t stink trio” off at Ashley that left Big Gay Al and myself without any mates, even our new buddy Doug “Digweed” snubbed us with a better offer from The Brize Norton Gun Club but that doesn’t matter to us we had a fantastic time.

As usual the Cotswold Gun Club didn’t disappoint with its heady mixture of testing and simple clays, the wind blowing at 50 mph and driving rain made the shooting exciting and most enjoyable

Entry into the ground
Entry into the ground
The Parking Lot
The Parking Lot
Claire busy in the clubhoiuse
Claire busy in the clubhouse
Stand 3 in the bushes
Stand 3 in the bushes
The "Wind tunnel" elevated stand
The “Wind tunnel” elevated stand
A shot of the ground
A shot of the ground

 

So who shot shit? I hear you ask. Big Gay Al was today’s shit shooter, he shot so shit he doesn’t even deserve a picture on Shit Shooters, now that must be some shit shooting. Instead we are featuring the beaming victor

Holy fuck I look cool all windswept and interesting in "The Wind Tunnel"
Holy fuck I look cool all windswept and interesting in “The Wind Tunnel”

 

Happy shooting

Dereck

 

 

The wedding singer at Ashley

Hi Guys

For the second time in as many weeks the “my shit don’t stink” trio disrespect their mates and sneak off to Ashley for a 100 bird registered.

The scores were pretty irrelevant as the usual suspects claimed the glory and poor old Mr Van Damme was left floundering in last place but what was of quite some considerable relevance was Mr I don’t shot with more than five’s sartorial elegance.

The weather was blowing a hooligan complete with driving rain, “Wait one minute”, Mr I don’t shot with more than five is heard to say “I will slip into my waterproof trousers.

So what would you expect if some one said “I will just slip into my waterproof trousers? Maybe some black or blue PVC farmer specials, some hi-vis knocked off from British Rail or even some camo from your local hunting supplies shop, no not Mr I don’t shot with more than five, he is auditioning for The Wedding Singer 2

The wedding singer gets into character
The wedding singer gets into character

 

What's this? The Wedding Singer and Mr Van Damme having a little hanky panky behind the Range Rover
What’s this? The Wedding Singer and Mr Van Damme having a little hanky panky behind the Range Rover

 

Happy shooting

Dereck

Andy looks a twat and baz fucks up at Kingweston

Hi Guys

Well it seems once again the “my shit don’t stink” trio skulked off to a secret shoot at Kingweston failing to invite any of their mates, I guess that’s probably because they no longer have any mates having fucked them off so often.

I do not have the scores I can only assume that was because they were so shit the cards were accidentally lost.

Anyway their efforts were immortalised forever as clayshooting.tv were there to record all the shenanigans, you might like to watch the debacle for yourself.

Doesn't Andy look a twat in that hat?
Doesn’t Andy look a twat in that hat?

 

Baz fucking up and Andy still looking a twat in that hat
Baz fucking up and Andy still looking a twat in that hat

 

Baz trying to look cool for the camera
Baz trying to look cool for the camera

 

Happy shooting

Dereck