Today was the annual christmas 200 bird shooting expedition to Ilfracombe, Devon. The day starts with us all meeting up for breakfast at Northgate Inn South Molton, shit shooters gathering from all over the West Country, places as far apart as Bristol, Burnham-On-Sea. Crewkerne and Cornwall, there was 15 of us this time round
It appears Andy and Terry are once again a duo today, I guess Baz is still recovering from several weeks of jerking off with his carney buddies.
Anyway the duo arrived at Meadowcroft, Marksbury, Somerset for a 100 birds registered a little later than usual after stopping for breakfast at the Lillypool cafe Shipham. On the way in they met Gary West Trucks who was just leaving after shooting a round of 58, he said it was all a bit gloopy and some cars were sliding down the slope into parked cars down in the lower car park which meant the duo had a bit of a stroll down from the upper car park.
Andy started the round with a straight and was all set for a monster score, a few stands later Terry was at the oche a pair of low crossers, a couple of pairs in and the trapper didn’t see a hit and asked our man if he had hit them, honest Terry said “No” and with his place in heaven assured carried on with a clear conscience.
Nothing much happened until the last stand a fast rabbit followed by a looper, apparently Andy missed two rabbits by a country mile but the trapper announced he had straighted the stand, “Well” said Andy “If she gave to me I will take them”. I don’t know how he can sleep easy at night
Which from the scores (See note below) I have makes this weeks winner …….
Yeah that’s right Dr John, those expensive shooting glasses must really be paying dividends
Terry “Bionic finger” came in one clay behind the doctor
After an extraordinary meeting of the commitee it has been decided to a null Andy’s score for being a cheating A-rab which makes him this weeks pus oozing boil on a gorilla’s arse.
There has not much activity on shit shooters for a few weeks now, I did get some scores come in from Terry of the my shit don’t stink trio but owing to my computer breaking down (I think it got a bad case of Gaymidgetpornitus) haven’t been able to post anything, hopefully later this week I can get back on the case, in the meantime though here is a quick news update.
It’s carney season so our star player Baz has been jerking off in the carney shed with his carney buddies.
Big Gay Al took such a pummeling on his last shoot at Springway Park he hasn’t been able to pick up a gun since, making all sorts of excuses about fences to put up, working and farm stuff to do.
With the deer season started Dereck has been off in the woods with Chris his stalking buddy
Terry took some time out to have a bionic finger fitted, he can now miss an easy pair in half the time
Haven’t heard from Andy, I guess with no mates to play with he has been playing with himself
Not sure what Dr John’s been up to, looking so cool I expect he has been having a hard time fending off the chicks.
New comers to shit shooters John, Jim, Tony and farmer Dave went to Mork a few miles north of Chepstow just over the bridge last week where once again Dave proved farmers can’t shoot.
With Baz in the carney shed jerking off with his carney buddies the my shit don’t stink trio were back down to a duo today for a 100 birds registered at Podimore. As it happens Andy and Terry met Gary West Trucks and were once again a trio.
After a poor start on a hard layout the scores that came in were ……
Andy was today’s winner on 71/100
In second place with a respectable showing was Terry on 60/100
In last place with 56/100 today’s used bog roll Gary West Trucks
The my shit dont stink trio picked up a fourth member today on a trip to Gunsite, Gloucestershire for a 100 birds registered. I had a couple of photos sent to me earlier taken with Baz’s left bollock, he apologized for the quality saying his right bollock takes better pictures.
Must have been an easy layout as the scores were quite high.
Yeah, yeah no prizes for guessing who came first with 86/100
Coming in second was Matt on 84/100 a most respectable score
In third place was Andy with 75/100, if he hadn’t stopped of at the Lai DIng Light massage parlour for a quick happy ending maybe he would have shot better
That only leaves poor old Terry bringing up the rear on 69/100
Our star play Baz is on yet another vacation to sunny Lanzarote, I reckon that is about the fourth time this year, I must be in the wrong job. So that just left Andy and Terry to keep the my shit don’t stink flag flying, however missing his buddy Andy made some lame excuse about being too busy to shoot and stayed at home jerking off
With Baz on vacation and Andy jerking off it was time for Terry to shine, he and Dr John went for a 100 birds at Longridge
Terry won the day with a magnificent 68/100
Unfortunately even the enhanced chroma shift technology of Dr John’s Pink Flamigoes couldn’t save him from a humiliating defeat with 63/100